let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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