dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
