Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize