I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
