Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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