I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
All I want is dick and wine.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
