I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
