You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
we should paint friendship bongs
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
