remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
