totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Randomize
