Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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