fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
