He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
