I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
There's always time for handjobs
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
