just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
