Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
