ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
