He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
