There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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