watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
