weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
In America we eat man semen.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
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