I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
