That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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