I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
handjob tips. give me some.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
