and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Randomize
