This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
