dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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