can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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