The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
