i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I want a musical about memes.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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