do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
