Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
home. puking in laundry basket.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
