In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I came so hard my ears popped.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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