All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
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