Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
