just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Non-Jews are for practice
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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