The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
