I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
That accounts for only three of the penises
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
my poor anus
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
