I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I look better un-naked...
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
