The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Randomize
