im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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