i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
