i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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