put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
