Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
