god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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