My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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