Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
