walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
