How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
YAS. BRING CRAB.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
