VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
