Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
