oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
