he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
