highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
