she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
