thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
