It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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