Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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