We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I want to stick my p in your. b.
wrigley field is MILF paradise
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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