The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
PANTIES FOUND
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
