i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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