I am in a vortex of obligation.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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