i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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