Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
